Welcome to the disclamer. This American apple pie institution known as parental discresion will cleanse any sense of innuendo or scarcasam from this page which might actually make you think. It will also insult your intelligence at the same time. So protect your family. This page contains explixit defections of things which are real. These real things are commonly known as life. So if it sounds sarcastic, don't take it seriously. If it sounds dangerous, do not try it at home or at all. And if it offends you, just don't read it. Oh yeah, and my name is Ryan.
This guy was told by his Homeowners Association that he couldn’t fly the American flag in his front yard.
‘MURRIKA
Sometimes it’s just one of those days…
- Television: In the criminal justice system--
- Me: SEXUALLY-BASED DEFENSES ARE CONSIDERED ESPECIALLY HEINOUS. IN NEW YORK CITY, THE DEDICATED DETECTIVES WHO INVESTIGATE THESE VICIOUS FELONIES ARE MEMBERS OF AN ELITE SQUAD KNOWN AS THE SPECIAL VICTIMS UNIT. THESE ARE THEIR STORIES. DUN DUN
- friend: did you know it takes 43 muscles to frown & only 17 to smile
- me: did you know it takes 0 muscles to not give a fuck
Well… That’s one way of looking at things.
Anonymous asked: Would you fuck a (kind of unattractive) girl who made and baked a huge 7 x 6 ft macaroni and cheese pizza for you and layed on it naked in your bedroom to surprise you when you got home from work?
I can honestly say that even if it was a guy I’d fuck him. But he doesn’t have to be unattractive, I am really hoping for Ryan Reynolds on this one.
